We went out today to spend her Nonnis’ birthday money on some additional items for it, only to discover that it would be twice the price of buying them on Amazon, even considering shipping.  So Lady G will have to wait, but she has some very exciting gifties winging their way from the US:

I have plans to make some more things out of felt when I get the chance – wouldn’t some ravioli be awesome? – to complement the felt fruit and vegetables from Ikea that she’s had knocking around for a while.

Because we had so much help getting both G and Io installed in the first place, it really does seem important to me to that my ‘victory baby’ comes in the form of a) the baby’s gender being unknown until I can see for myself (a little mystery in the process, please!), and b) a natural labour (no induction, drugs or c-section) – where my body shows it really can get this baby thing done.

And really, when it comes down to it, the victory baby really should just mean carrying a happy healthy baby to term, regardless of how it gets out.  I’m mindful that while my successful birth last time should mean I have a reasonable chance of achieving what I want this time, nothing is a given, and I need to prepare for it not to feel like a failure should I need that final little bit of help over the finishing line.

So in the expectation that this is now going to happen, I’ve been researching TENS machines as a source of non-pharmacological pain relief during labour.  Last time, I found it most comforting to be under the shower; the combination of warmth and the sensation of all the droplets really got me through the worst bits of active labour, and I was interested to see if the TENS machine could achieve the same thing.  (We ended up running out of hot water last time, and having not clicked that I could simply put the plug to run a bath in I got quite distressed at the thought of having to get out!)

But, opinion seems divided about whether it will be helpful or not, and I’m still undecided whether to spend the $70-80 or not.  From what I’ve read it can be helpful in early labour (but I managed though that quite easily, with breathing techniques, hypnobirthing and heat packs), but less so in advanced labour which is when I would be looking for a little extra boost.  Much of the benefit seems like it’s purely psychosomatic – the perception of pain being less, rather than it actually delivering pain relief.  Still, I guess that doesn’t sound too bad?  Interested in the thoughts of anyone else who’s used one.  My cousin in Holland has recommended it and say they are quite popular in The Netherlands where home birth is common (like last time, I hope to labour at home as long as possible before fronting up at the hospital for the Ob to play catch).

The emergency dentist last night (and some pedi-dentist links from the web) suggest that baby teeth handle this sort of trauma better than permanent teeth, but it’s still a worry given her permanent teeth won’t come in for another 4-5 years – that’s a long time without them in terms of eating and speaking, let alone the cosmetic impact.  So we wait and see, and meantime she’s on a diet of soft food for the next few days until her gums firm up enough to keep her teeth in place.

I can’t get over the feeling of how fragile she is this morning. Other than feeling like her mouth is ‘stuck’ she seems unaware and is charging around eating and dancing and running as normal, while I’m finding it really hard not to want to be following around with a large mattress in case she tips over again.

I have to confess I’m angry with The Baron as he was on watch and had turned to get a towel – I know it could have very easily been me and it’s an accident and all, but I just want to be mad at someone! This is probably just the first of many broken bones and scars to follow for both kids, and he’s feeling horribly guilty and I don’t mean to blame him, I’m sure it’s just stress about what will happen to her over the next few weeks.

Mad pregnancy hormones though – I held it together while comforting her and managing to find an emergency dentist at 8pm on a Sat night, getting there and all through her checkup, and then lost it in the car ride on the way home.

Whereas The Bee was cool as a cucumber once she got over the initial pain, and was quite happy chatting to the registrar about how Daddy was parking the car, and singing Turkle Turkle Little Star in the back seat to and from.

It seems her legacy left an impact on G’s sleep as well – for almost 2 weeks she refused to settle to sleep easily, requiring up to an hour and a half settling  – combined with a new penchance for ‘encores’ (more milk, want to be changed, Mummy cuddle, pee in toilet) I was beginning to feel a little out of my depth.  In talking about it with other mums, seems as if this is not uncommon around about 2 years, which is only slightly reassuring.

So, back to the beginning – we returned to the routine of settling we did at around 7 months from Sleep Right Sleep Tight, only with the 12mo+ modifications around spending less time in the room (30s -1 min rather than up to 10).  Within 3 days we seem to be back to normal which is a real relief! With 10 weeks to go until the baby arrives, I need all the sleep and peace I can get.

In case you haven’t come across Redbook’s Truth about Trying campaign, it includes a set of videos from celebrities and other people talking about their own infertility experience – the intent being to remove any shame someone might feel.  Personally shame was never an emotion I felt about our experience but I found it really valuable to feel part of a community, so I appreciate that part of their campaign.

So we’re 6 months along today, and things are going well – the heartburn I suffered from dreadfully last time is much more mild this time and other than feeling rather breathless at times, it feels good to be in the home stretch.

The Bee is also progressing well – some little switch in her brain has recently gone off and she’s become a real chatterbox, copying every word we say like a parrot and introducing a lot of her own which we had no idea she knew.

She’s also showing a lot of interest in the new baby, giving my tummy lots of hugs and kisses and talking about it quite a bit.  Miss N’s new baby brother showed up a few weeks ago and I think that’s been really fascinating to her and perhaps making her really aware of what is about to happen.  If only I was – still panicking at the thought of 2, although Miss N’s mum seems to be taking it all in her stride which is encouraging.  3 others from my mums group have also recently announced pregnancies, so I won’t be left to bumble though this alone!

So we’re scheduled in for another scan in 3 weeks, when the heart should be bigger and easier to see.  Both the sonographer and our Ob have told us not to worry, and I guess the fact that we’ve not been referred to a specialist or requiring a special scan suggests that it’s likely to be nothing.  Luckily there seems to be very little info when I google, which is preventing me from fearing the worst!  Otherwise, all appeared to be good – and now we wait.

(Nine, as usual, nyet to The Units until we know for sure what we’re dealing with.)

I’m also beginning to get very nervous at the thought of looking after the 2 kids by myself.  Lady G is into running away at the moment, unabashed by traffic or losing me in a crowd and I worry how I will cope if she does that while I’m distracted or busy with the baby.  Recommendations from people with experience vary from keeping the baby in a sling all the time (likely) to never leaving the house (less appealing).  Fingers crossed 6 months will make a big difference to G’s ability to listen to commands (and obey!!)

So she’s hale and hearty although seeming to consist on nothing but air and giggles right now.  From what I’ve read lots of tots hit a fussy food stage around 20 months.  We’ve shifted her bedtime an hour later to allow her to have dinner with us (and to get her to sleep a little later in the morning, Mamma was not enjoying her 5.45am wakeup calls) and she’s definitely enjoying sitting up with us at the table and chatting away about the day, but it’s not increased her food consumption to any great degree.

What does seem to be working nicely is the toilet training.  On my Mum’s recommendation I bought her a seat insert for the toilet, and after a couple of days she began to request to sit on it, and now a couple of times a day will ask to use it (using a sign) and will pee.  She’s even asked for it when we were out shopping and was happy for me to hold her above the adult toilet while she did her business.  So I’m relatively confident that we should have her mostly toilet trained by the time Io shows up in 6 months, particularly when we have a few months of warmer weather which will allow us to do some nappy off time.  Wouldn’t that be great; only one in nappies at a time!  Which would mean I wouldn’t have to buy any more cloth nappies, even better.