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Bonsai baby

April 9, 2010

One of the nice things (if you can say that) of infertility is that by blogging you find a range of people who are going through things at the same time you are.  Onepinkline’s baby is just a week younger than Lady G, and her most recent post stirred up a latent feeling I’ve been having – real tear-pricking mourning.

That seems so weird to be feeling, baby in my arms – but she’s growing so fast, and so many of the things I loved about her have gone, most likely forever.   It’s tempting to try to find a way to bonsai her so she stays little forever (apart from Child Protective Services and all that…)

Instead, I’m glad I’ve been madly photographing and videoing many of the mundane little things she does every day.  I have video of the little mouth sucking in her sleep at 2 weeks, the surprised look when I blew into her face at a month and the huffing and puffing in excitement at the bug over her changetable at 3 months.

So at 5 months, what’s her latest that I will in turn be mourning very soon?

  • Her regular peeks up at me when she’s nursing, just to make sure I’m still there.
  • Her preference to stand instead of sit – apparently sitting in Mum’s lap is so passe.
  • Her daggy giggling when playing peek-a-boo over the baby gym in the morning.
  • The constant presence of her index finger in her mouth, as she attempts to push a couple of teeth out.
  • The crazy wrestler smackdown of both of her feet, whether playing on the floor or splashing in the bath.
  • Her studied focus on my mouth as I tell her stories and sing showtunes, as her mouth tries to follow suit.
  • The way she rolls around in a 360 like she’s in a scene from Singing in the Rain.
  • The sneaky little hand which creeps my towards my face when she’s feeding, and grasps hold of whatever’s in reach: my hair, my jewellery, my shirt or my bottom lip.
2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 9, 2010 10:50 pm

    Every night I put my son to sleep I fear the next day because I know he is older when he wakes. Something he did the day before he may never do it again. I tried for 7 yrs to have my son and now I have had him it almost feels like I have missed parts of his 19 months already, even though I have been with him every day of his life.

  2. July 8, 2011 11:04 am

    Reading the back catalogue after your suggestion to see what you and the Bee were going through at the same age Pugsley is now – and this entry is so true! I was bawling my eyes out the other day packing up the newbie clothes to send back to you, The Tall Guy thought I was insane. In fact I’ve kept one sentimental pair of pants that there’s no way she could fit in now, just because I used to love how daggily long they were on her in the hospital, ending about 3 inches past her toes. I can’t believe she’s only 4 months old, and I’m already misty eyed about ‘when she was a baby’!

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