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A good week for ICLW

July 21, 2010

I’m going to be honest and say that this past week I’ve had the slowly dawning realisation that I’m not enjoying motherhood much right now.  I feel really crappy for saying that, and it’s not something I’ve had the courage to say out loud to anyone so far.  After all I am so unbelievably lucky for getting the gig in the first place, and so much is going right – I have a beautiful, bubbly, bright, happy 8 month old baby girl to show for it.

The real problem is the dual factors of broken sleep – devilishly easy to underestimate – and the more insidious problem I have of trying to insist that G follows my plan for her.

For instance, last night deciding at 1.40am that it’s only been 2 hours since her last feed and she can’t possibly be hungry again.   Or being unable to accept that after a good week with solids, she’s eaten basically nothing but milk for the past 2 days.  Worried that less solids equals less sleep, I’ve been getting hugely frustrated, thrusting dish after dish at her (both spoon-based and baby-led weaning finger foods) only to have it end up spat straight back out again, or gracefully but deliberately dropped onto the floor.

So have at it, ICLWers, please share your wisdom – tell me that this is just a phase that she (and I) will get through, explain how you found the strength to give up your control-freak ways, or remind me of just how small these problems are in the big scheme of things.  And I promise in return to stop whinging so much about it and just try to enjoy the ride.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. July 22, 2010 12:02 am

    *hug* Eight months is a bitch for sleep – 8 month sleep regression, yo. Refusal of solids may be down to teething or feeling poorly. Things will calm down. Feed her at night if it works!

  2. July 22, 2010 1:29 am

    Hello! Thanks for commenting on my site earlier. While I have no experience with which to say this – it’s just a phase and it will get better. It just has to. Not sleeping sucks.

    As for us, we’re in the middle of our home study and paperchase. We’re going for a domestic infant adoption and working on the profile book. Fun and exciting times over here!

  3. July 22, 2010 10:21 am

    I think we are getting the 9 month sleep regression early. I feel your pain, and I also hope it passes soon. Sleep deprivation sucks!

  4. Heather King permalink
    July 23, 2010 3:18 am

    It *will* pass, and it *does* get better … there are plenty of sucky things that happen, and that’s why you have a blog – to get your whining out of your system online! And don’t feel bad for saying you aren’t enjoying it – it is tough. There are always tough things going on, you shouldn’t feel bad for acknowledging that.

    In my experience, I didn’t really start enjoying things till my son was *much* closer to 1 yr – and even then, there were weeks of teething symptoms that just about broke me. He’s almost 2, and I can honestly say that the last 6 months have been *wonderful* – but even then there have been issues which frustrate me.

    There’s always bad stuff, stuff you’ll be worried about, stuff that’ll stress you out – and all of it is stages you have to get through. And they are stages you *will* get through.

    Just keep saying it to yourself – it’s normal, it will pass, it does get better.

    Hang in there!

  5. Sarah permalink
    July 23, 2010 9:52 am

    Hello from ICLW!

    I am so sorry you are having problems, although I am not a mommy myself, most of my friends have gone through something very similar. It does sound like a sleep regression.

    I have no advice to give other then there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

    Good Luck
    ICLW #97

  6. July 23, 2010 10:49 am

    Here from ICLW! I don’t have advice since I’m currently pregnant with my first but at least now I know for sure that the sleepless nights I’m having now are like spring training for the next few years!

  7. July 24, 2010 1:29 am

    Unfortunately I can offer you nothing but a hug and a wish that you get some sleep soon! I am still waiting for my miracle. I do wish you the best of luck, though….Happy ICLW – #78

  8. katery permalink
    July 24, 2010 7:17 am

    there are good times and there are bad times, for some reason we always remember the bad times and forget that things were mostly good. you’ll get past it, the way you’re feeling is not unusual.

  9. July 24, 2010 11:16 am

    I’m having similar issues with my 10 month old twins, but really only with my daughter. My son eats well and sleeps like a charm, but my daugher oy! She wakes repeatedly throught the night and NEEDS to be held and will not go back down for hours…and then she wakes at the crack of dawn. Once I exhaustedly get her back down, my other 2 wake up! I wish I could sleep when they do but it never happens at the same time and I have to tend to my toddler!!
    Anyway, I am sooo grateful for my 3 blessings but I feel you, I’ve been there with my daughter and now again with my youngest. It is really tough at times, but it does seem to fade. It’s most probably teething (even if you don’t see any teeth). The smiles and laughs and new skills are what get me through the day! Happy ICLW! (#45 & 46)

  10. July 24, 2010 2:10 pm

    Well I don’t have any motherly advice but the only wisdom I can share is just to take deep breaths and enjoy each moment because your baby will grow up so quickly!

    happy iclw #50

  11. July 24, 2010 7:16 pm

    Unfortunately I can’t tell you whether it will get better or not.

    I can say tho, while you are aware of how blessed you have been, it’s normal and fine to have down days, so don’t beat yourself up too much.

    ~ttc for 11 years
    ~8 miscarriages
    ~still chasing that elusive viable bubba

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