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Aftershocks

October 7, 2010

Lest I imply that this whole returning to work thing is going swimmingly – it’s not.  On the one hand, I had a great time, and while I’m having to bribe my brain hamsters with lots of caffeine, the wheels in my head have slowly begun turning, and that’s great.  But The Bee seems to be all up in the air, and while I know it’s just something she’s going to need to get used to, it’s hard not to feel like it’s all my fault.

Yesterday I was all gung ho about my first day home with her, and while Mary Poppins might have had trouble getting her to nap, pshaw – that’s old hat for me.  An hour and a half later as I wheeled a near-hysterical bubba around my quiet street before finally changing her on someone’s driveway in the faint hope that a dry nappy would be the solution to our problem, I admitted defeat.  We had a similar episode in the afternoon, and the whole day I had to deal with a twitchy infant who didn’t want to eat..to sit..to stand..to be put down..to cuddle..to play..to sleep….  Needless to say my ‘I’ll work for a couple of hours while she sleeps’ plan only kicked into action once she was in bed and I’d cooked dinner.

She’s down for the count right now (only a little settling required this time), but she woke at 5 and was ready for the day, so clearly she’s still way out of wack.

JD reassured me, as I sat with tears in my eyes in a cafe yesterday, that this is normal, and right – after all, if she didn’t find it odd without me there something would be wrong.  She thinks it will take a month or so for her to bond with Mary Poppins and Miss N, and things will definitely improve.  But (and everyone says this!) the guilt will never go.  Sounds fun!

 

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Heather King permalink
    October 8, 2010 3:39 am

    Oh, I’m so sorry to hear this. The transition to daycare/nanny is tough, for sure. Especially if your little one is transitioning to a one nap day. It is all normal, I promise you. The only thing that’s constant with babies/toddlers is change! As soon as you get one things figured out, something else changes.

    When my little guy started at daycare, it did take a while before she figured out the trick to getting him to nap. But that’s for her to figure out, there’s nothing you can do about that (unless she asks for specific tips/tricks). Different environments, different people, etc., can lead to different reactions, and everyone is different. With my little guy, he got to a point where he was napping better at daycare than he was at home – and we asked her for tips! Eventually it all got settled, and now he’s a great sleeper wherever – but it’s a process.

    Oh, and it’s not your fault. Honest. I know that the life of a Mom is 95% guilt all the time anyways, so I won’t bother telling you not to feel guilty (’cause I know it won’t help!), but whatever’s going on in her little head is all just part of her normal development stages. it will get better.

    Hang in there, it’ll all be fine.

  2. October 30, 2010 1:38 am

    *hug*

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