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If I be waspish, best beware my sting!

November 15, 2010

Speaking of the cleaner, the final decision to get one organised came after the most recent discussion about cleanliness in the Barreness castle.  I am a clean person.  The Baron is not.  I feel a sense of obligation to keep things tidy (oh, and a little bit of OCD on the side), while The Baron is happiest lazing on the couch while I fuss about until 10pm or later getting the house tidy.

Needless to say, I expect a little more from him, and so I ask (repeatedly) for things to get done until he heaves a sigh of frustration and hauls ass.  In other words, nagging.

Now, lest you think I enjoy this, I don’t.  I’d far rather leave it to him to proactively help out where he sees stuff that needs doing, or to ask me what might be required.  When I read this article about just stopping the nagging, I thought it sounded fantastic.  But when I asked him what would be consequence be, he had to admit that if I stopped asking him to do things…he’d stop doing things.  And wouldn’t feel like he needed to do much to help keep things tidy.

Yes, he prefers things to be nice and tidy – just not making things that way.  His feeling is that standards should be allowed to slip because we have a kid; I feel that we have more people in the house now, and more little people crawling around and getting into things they shouldn’t, so that’s no excuse.  I know this isn’t unusual as many of the mums in my mums’ group have a similar complaint, but I have to blame the Italian heritage on this one, since he just hates doing housework, and has admitted that since I don’t hate it as much as he does, that I should do more.

What do you do when your basic standards are so different?  It’s one of the only things we argue about, and I’d really like it to stop – but not at the cost of me doing all the work (you can see how the prospect of the cleaner is going to very much help us here!)


3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 16, 2010 11:27 am

    We have the same problem here. Hubby’s standards are not the same as mine. Though he has gotten better since we have been married. We are happiest with having someone come in and clean our house on a regular basis. It has saved my sanity and made both of us feel better. I highly recommend you get a housekeeper, if you can manage it. Even a couple times a month makes a huge difference!

    As for getting him to do things around the house, I still do not have an answer. My Hubby is a bit of a slacker, too. I can give him a to-do list with deadlines, and it sometimes works. Sometimes I send him email reminders. It seems to be a battle to get him to do things, sometimes. Good luck!

  2. November 16, 2010 9:27 pm

    Oh dear. I’m your husband. I love things neat and tidy, but I don’t like being the one to make them that way. *sheepish grin*

  3. November 22, 2010 1:03 pm

    Very very hard when your standards do not align! A cleaner would definitely be the way to go if cost isn’t an issue and as long as the cleaner’s standards match yours! Best of luck with this one! Happy ICLW!

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